Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Be Ye Humble

I don't know that I'm on a trajectory here with "Be Ye" posts, but I just learned something new about myself, and it could definitely fall under the heading "Be Ye Humble." What did I learn? I am not Superwoman. 

When life raises challenges, I am the woman who says "I can do it!" I run faster, work harder, sleep less ... and when I was younger, I crashed less often. Looking back on my life as a young mother, I realize what my son said when he described me as a "tank." He meant I accomplished a lot. And he's right. Of course he wasn't privy to the "woman in a puddle" moments when I collapsed in tears because I couldn't keep up with the home-based business and organic gardening and four children and home schooling and homemaking and writing books and being a church elder's wife and ... you get the idea. 

Well, folks, that was then and this is now and wow is it humbling to realize that you are no longer a tank. You're more of a motorized golf cart, just trying to get over the green ... and hoping someone else is maintaining the lawn. 

How does this relate to writing? Well, I just had to humble myself before my new editor and ask for a couple more weeks to finish the re-write. I HATE DOING THAT!!!! The fact that I wasn't being a slacker and that the necessity was due to a true family emergency didn't make it any better. I still hate doing that. I am, after all, the woman who accomplishes much. 

At any rate, I realized something about myself. A Superwoman complex can be nothing more than pride disguised as a virtue. Ouch. I realized that humbling myself and realizing my limitations wasn't sinful. In my case, humbling myself and realizing my limitations was necessary. 

I am of the "I am woman, hear me roar" generation. 
Well ... I am woman, hear me whimper is more like it these days.
And that's OK.
The limitations aren't because I'm lazy. 
They aren't because I don't work hard.
They aren't because I'm a failure.
They are because ... I am who I am in 2013.

I think realizing that is going to be freeing after I think about it a little while longer.
Then again, I live with imaginary friends, so accepting reality may take me a bit longer than the average bear. 

On the journey ... 

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